MATTHEW 5.30-32….2012

31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away (divorces) his wife, let him give her a writing (certificate) of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you (again, here is the correct interpretation), That whosoever shall put away (divorces) his wife, saving for the cause of fornication (sexual immorality), causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19.3-9

3 ¶ The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting (testing) him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away (divorce) his wife for every cause (for any reason)?  4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female,  5 And said, For this cause (reason) shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave (be joined) to his wife: and they twain shall be (become)one flesh?  6 Wherefore they are no more twain (two), but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).  7 They say unto Him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing (certificate) of divorcement, and to put her away?  8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away (divorce) your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.  9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away (divorce) his wife, except it be for fornication (sexual immorality), and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away (divorced) doth commit adultery.

In thinking about the question of divorce and remarriage, there are two extremes we must avoid. First, we must avoid saying more on this subject than the Bible actually says. Second, we must also avoid saying less than what the Bible actually says.

Having experienced the pain and sorrow having come from a divorced home, it grieves me to admit that we are living in a divorce infested culture that has even infiltrated the body of Christ. Because we are followers of Jesus Christ, we should always want to respond to hurting people with the grace of God. Unfortunately in our zeal to minister to people, I am afraid that our emotions and feelings have gotten in the way and as a result, we have either lowered the biblical standards-or abandoned them altogether. Because of this wave of divorce, many portions of the body of Christ have winked at unbiblical divorce because it would be too difficult or too painful to hold Christians to the high standards of God’s Word.

As we consider the central passage in the gospels dealing with the issue of divorce and remarriage. Let me tell you in advance that this message this morning will not answer every possible question, but Lord willing, it will clearly lay down the teaching of Jesus Christ on this subject. Since he is the head of the church, this is where our thinking must always begin.

Lets begin by saying that marriage is an institution that was established by God at creation, thus it’s standards are universal and are meant to be observed by all people in all cultures, believers and unbelievers alike. The standards expressed here by Jesus Christ for divorce and remarriage are therefore applicable to all people. The church, where it has opportunity, is mandated by God to encourage non-Christians as well as Christians to abide by God’s high moral standards regarding divorce and remarriage.

In Matthew 19, The passage opens with the Pharisees posing a question to the Lord about the subject of marriage and divorce. But we will see that this question isn’t really a sincere attempt to discover the truth.

For a little bit of background, in the first century the Pharisees were divided into two groups led by two great rabbis-Hillel and Shammai.

• With regard to divorce Hillel was a liberal. He taught that a Jewish man could divorce for any reason whatsoever-no matter how flimsy. For instance, if a wife burned the toast, the husband could divorce her. Or if he felt his wife had insulted his parents, he could divorce her. Some of his followers said that if a man found a woman he liked better, he could divorce his wife and marry the one he liked.
• By contrast Shammai was a conservative. He said that divorce could only be obtained on the grounds of sexual immorality. As you can imagine, a lively debate raged between those two groups. Which group do you think was the popular opinion of the day saints? You guessed it, liberal Hillel.
• When the Bible says they came to test him, it really means they came to trap him-to force him to choose sides. If he sided with Hillel, that would be popular with the liberals; if he sided with Shammai, the conservatives would love him.

I find it very interesting that in his reply, Jesus quotes Genesis 1:27 and 2:24. He combines these 2 passages together to make two points:

• First, marriage between a man and a woman was God’s idea.
• Marriage from God’s point of view is always one man with one woman joined in a legal union for life. This clear mandate from God rules out so-called same sex or gay marriages, because that is not the divine order or design. Gay unions are fundamentally wrong and sinful because it distorts and perverts the divine design given by God in the Garden of Eden. In the beginning God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Alice and Eve. Beloved, any honest person knows that it is impossible for 2 men or 2 women to be fruitful and multiply biologically.
• Second, marriage is meant to be a lifetime commitment.
• The Pharisees asked about divorce, but Jesus replied by talking about marriage. He wouldn’t be drawn into their little debating game.
• Let me also be very clear in saying that the Biblical view of marriage is that it is a covenant that is entered into by making vows in the presence of God and chosen witnesses. Marriage is not an experiment or a contract or something like a fishing or hunting license that expires after a certain period of time, and can be renewed or nullified. The OT prophet  Malachi views marriage as a “covenant” between a husband and wife, a covenant to which God was a witness and to which therefore God will hold people accountable…Mal 2.14 she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
• Let me repeat for all who call Koinonia their home church and for all of our visitors this morning, God sees marriage as two people becoming one, committed to one another, in a covenant relationship that lasts a lifetime.
• Cohabitation or living together under the same roof as a married couple may be acceptable in our society and even within many portions of the church, but according to Jesus, cohabitation is sinful, unbiblical and must be repented of, especially if you call yourself a follower of Jesus Christ.
• If you call KF your home church and you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are living together as a married couple but you are not legally married, you need to get your relationship right in the sight of God because your present arrangement is sinful and unacceptable. I do not say that to condemn you but to urge you do what is right  in the sight of The Lord, go out and get a marriage license and get serious about your relationship with God and one another.
• If the man or woman that you are living with is unwilling to exchange vows with you before God and enter into a covenant of marriage with you for any reason than if I were you I would get out of Dodge as fast as possible.

Look at Jesus response in 19.4-6

4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female,  5 And said, For this cause (reason) shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave (be joined) to his wife: and they twain shall be (become)one flesh?  6 Wherefore they are no more twain (two), but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).

• For all of you Bible students, please notice that The Lord Jesus Christ interpreted the words in Genesis as the literal Word of God exactly as it was written and thus absolutely authoritative.
• Saints, when you are reading Genesis 1-2, or any other portion of Scripture, unless it is obviously allegorical or symbolic, you need to read it the way our Lord did-not as myth or legend, but as actual, historical fact. The man and wife of verse 4 are Adam and Eve-the first two human beings on the face of the earth.
• Most importantly, this passage establishes the permanency of marriage in the strongest possible terms when it says, “What God has joined together, let man not separate”. This simply means that divorce was never part of God’s original design. God didn’t think up divorce, we did that all by ourselves. This means that divorce always represents a failure at some point in the marriage relationship. As we will see in a moment, not every divorce is sinful, but sin is always involved in every divorce.

Before going any further, I think we must say plainly that this answer given by Jesus is not a “soft” or “easy” answer. He is speaking the truth in love, and it hurts. Have you noticed that happiness has replaced faithfulness within the body of Christ? I am not happy with my spouse…I am not happy in my church….I am not happy where I live….beloved, God calls us to be faithful, not happy.

Sometimes in our desire to make people happy, or to relieve them of their very real pain, we have unwittingly disobeyed verse 6 by separating what God joined together. Sometimes we do this by encouraging separation or divorce, sometimes we do this by joining unhappy spouses in criticizing their mates, and sometimes we take the easy way out by turning away and refusing to challenge those who rush to divorce without any biblical justification. Know this KF family, by not addressing the Biblical view of divorce and remarriage, we are by default encouraging the culture of divorce inside the church.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus, “What do you think about divorce?” he responded to them by saying, “What do you think about marriage?” He flipped the question by saying that divorce isn’t the issue, marriage is.  Instead of taking the bait and choosing sides, Jesus ignores their question and gone right to the heart of the issue-God’s original design in marriage.

So now the Pharisees ask a second question-this one even trickier than the first:

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” (7).

• The background of this question comes from Deuteronomy 24:1-4 where Moses laid down some basic principles regarding divorce and remarriage. Deut 24.1-4 was a central passage in the debate between Hillel and Shammai because the passage speaks of “some uncleanness” the husband discovered in the wife. But the Scripture doesn’t clearly define that term, which is why Hillel took it to mean almost anything the husband didn’t like and Shammai restricted it to sexual immorality. Guess which view was the most popular?

• Because of a loose interpretation of this passage of Scripture, divorce and remarriage were widely accepted and practiced in the first century world. Because divorce was widespread in ancient times, God had instituted a regulation through Moses that was intended to uphold the sanctity of marriage and to protect women from being divorced for no reason.
• The key word in the question is the word “command.” Why did Moses command a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce? Good question. There’s only one problem: God never commanded a man to do that. That’s not in Deuteronomy 24. So it’s a bogus question based on a deliberate distortion of the Bible.

A. Command vs. Permission

First, Jesus begins by correcting their distortion of the text. He reminded them that “Moses … permitted you to put away or divorce your wives”.

• Do you see the crucial difference? The Pharisees used the word “command” and Jesus used the word “permission.” There’s a world of difference between what God commands and what he permits.
• The Pharisees were saying that God commanded divorce. Jesus said, No, God permitted it, but he never commanded it. God’s original plan was that married couples would never divorce.

B. The Hardness of your hearts

Second, Jesus now goes to the heart of the issue when he reveals the reason behind Deuteronomy 24.

• Moses gave that instruction “because your hearts were hard.” In one phrase Jesus swept aside all their cheap, selfish excuses and exposed the real reason behind every divorce-a hard heart.
• These words of Jesus are just as true today as they were 2000 years ago. Nothing has changed. Human hearts are still hard and that’s why our divorce courts are backlogged. Christian hearts are hard, which is why divorce has invaded our churches.

C. Original Intent

Third, Jesus goes on to remind them once again of God’s original design: “But it was not this way from the beginning” (8).

• God instituted marriage before the Fall; man devised divorce after the Fall. If you want proof of universal sinfulness of man, visit any divorce court and listen to the arguments, the accusations, the veiled threats, the struggle over money, property, alimony, and child custody. None of this was part of God’s original design for humanity.

D. A warning against improper remarriage

Fourth, Jesus now gives a stern warning against improper remarriage: I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (9).

• For a moment, set aside the little phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness.” We’ll come back to that soon. If you leave the phrase out, Jesus is saying that a man who divorces his wife and then remarries another woman commits adultery. (By the way, in the parallel passage in Mark 10:1-12, the exception clause does not appear, suggesting that sometimes Jesus included it and sometimes he didn’t.) How can that be? Because in God’s eyes if the divorce is improper, so is the remarriage.
• This means that God takes our wedding vows seriously. You can see the importance of vows in Ecclesiastes 5. When you stand before a minister and pledge to be faithful “till death do us part,” God says Amen from heaven. And if you divorce on unbiblical grounds and then marry someone else, in God’s eyes you have committed adultery because you are still bound to your original vows.
• Let me point out that the real issue here is not divorce but improper remarriage. This means that divorced men and women must be very careful about remarriage lest they end up committing adultery by the very act of remarriage.

E. One clear exception-porneia

Fifth, Jesus here gives us one clear exception to this total ban on divorce and remarriage. He says you are not to do it “except for marital unfaithfulness” (9).

• The Greek word is porneia. It’s a very common word (from which we get the English word “pornography") and has a broad meaning. Sometimes it is translated as “adultery,” sometimes as “fornication,” and sometimes as “sexual immorality.” All those translations are correct.
• It basically refers to any pattern of sexual sin that has the effect of breaking the marriage vow. It certainly includes premarital sex, extramarital sex, adultery, prostitution, homosexuality and pedophilia. Scripture prohibits any kind of sexual intercourse outside of marriage.
• Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
• This simply means that sexual immorality does provide grounds for divorce from God’s point of view. But remember, this is a permission, not a command. While God never commands his children to divorce, he does permit it when one partner has flagrantly violated their sacred marriage vows.
• When necessary, the steps of church discipline outlined in Matthew 18:15–17 should be followed in an attempt to bring reconciliation to the marriage. If one of the spouses do not agree to submit to the counsel of Scripture and the admonition of church leadership, they are to be barred from fellowship with the body of Christ praying for God to work in the hearts of both spouses and reconciliation.

Let me step aside from this passage and in light of the entire New Testament summarize the three legitimate biblical grounds for remarriage:

1. Death of the spouse (1 Corinthians 7:39-40)

2. Sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9)

3. Desertion by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-15)

I do not believe there are any other legitimate grounds for divorce and remarriage given in the Word of God. If the question of spousal abuse is raised, several points might be made.

• First, the Bible does not directly address this issue.
• Second, nothing in the Bible prohibits a wife from removing themselves (and her children) from an abusive situation for her safety-and theirs. In most cases, this will be the prudent thing to do.
• Third, a pattern of abuse may in the end be regarded as proof that a husband is in fact an unbeliever masquerading as a Christian. If he rejects all attempts to help change his abusive behavior, then he might fall into the category of an unbelieving spouse whose sin has the effect of destroying the marriage. I would also say that we are living in a day and age when a wife can be just as physically abusive as a husband and the same rules apply to the husband in those cases.

If you are married, I have two suggestions for you.

• First, commit yourself to be a man of God or a woman of God in your marriage. Husbands, that means loving your wife and laying down your life for her. Wives, that means respecting your husband and looking to him for leadership in your home. Remember, he is the head of the home as Christ is the head of the church.
• Second, put the word divorce out of your vocabulary. Just get rid of it. Rip it out of your personal dictionary. For the believer, it should simply never be an option. If you are truly committed to God and to each other, you can survive any storm that may come your way if you humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God.
• I would also say to all married couples this one word…put Jesus first for that is what He tells us to do if we call ourselves His disciples. Christ must come first in every area of life. He must come before our dreams, our desires, our plans and our hopes. Christ must be first! He must be Lord of all that we are and have.
• Last but not least, we must resist with all that is in us the prevailing divorce culture that has infiltrated the church that elevates personal happiness above our marriage vows. Remember, the primary call of God in the life of a believer is faithfulness, not happiness. But here is the ultimate paradox: When we place happiness before faithfulness, we lose both; but when we commit ourselves to faithfulness to God and our spouse over personal happiness, in the end we gain both. Faithful people are satisfied people. Selfish and self centered people are always discontented.

To the single saints here today I would say a few words.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul plainly urges singles not to seek marriage but to serve the Lord right where you are. He even says, “Do not seek a wife”. In other words, do not allow being married get beyond a holy desire to a obsessive preoccupation.  Do not make an idol out of marriage and raise it to the point where your desire for marriage controls your life and consumes your thoughts. When that happens, something good (marriage) has become an idol for you.

One final word and then I’m done. What if you’ve already broken God’s rules for marriage and divorce? Here’s the good news. God is God of redemption and new beginnings. Start where you are and seek the Lord with all your heart.

• If you have wronged anyone, such as an ex-spouse or your children, confess it and ask for forgiveness. Do everything in your power to seek reconciliation and healing.
• If you are on the verge of divorce, live in such a way that others will know that you did everything possible to save your marriage. That means that you do not date or have any kind of a close relationship with anybody else of the opposite sex, period.

Let me really end by saying that marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with His bride the church. And since Jesus is the Perfect Bridegroom, He will never divorce His bride the church.

Questions…..are you religious or are you married to Jesus Christ? Is Jesus your Bridegroom and Master, or are you married to some popular teacher or system of theology or denomination?

How does one married to Jesus Christ?

Admit that you are a sinner by nature and by choice.

Repent of your sin and turn to God.

Believe that Jesus Christ is The Son of God Who died on the cross for your sin, was buried, but rose again from the dead on the 3^rd day. That He has ascended up into heaven.

Receive and confess Jesus as Lord. Be water baptized as your public confession of the Lordship of Jesus ASAP…..if you have never been water baptized since you have come to faith in Jesus Christ, go to the office and leave us the information to contact you within 48 hours to set a time up to get water baptized.