Sun, May 12, 2013
Mother's Day
Titus 2:3-5 & Proverbs 31:10-31 by Ray Viola
"One of the most treasured gifts of God to the local church is godly, virtuous women (Proverbs 31:10–31). On a day set aside to honor mothers, I’d like to look at what a woman’s primary role is in the home and in the church (Titus 2:3–5)."
Series: Holidays

MOTHERS DAY, MAY 12TH  2013

 

Today is Mother’s Day….and I would like to ask all of you mothers here with us this morning, whether you are a visitor or not to stand so that we can acknowledge you.

We not only want to acknowledge you, but we want to say how much we appreciate you and all that you do for your families.

Not only do I want to acknowledge you and extend my appreciation for you, I now would like to admonish all wives and mothers this morning. But this message is for all women….old or young, married or single, with or without children.

 

Jesus and womanhood- In the midst of the Greek, Roman, and Jewish cultures, which viewed women almost on the level of possessions, it was The Lord Jesus Christ who by His teaching and practical example showed The Fathers expression of love and dignity for women. The teachings of God’s Word and the gospel of Jesus Christ is what gives to women true dignity and purpose in life.

 

In light of the ongoing pressure from the liberal church and media to redefine gender, marriage and the role of women in the home, our study this morning is going to be looking to the one and only guide for authority structure in the home and that is the Word of God. Please turn with me to Titus 2.3-5.

·      By the way sisters, lest any of you feel like I am picking on you this morning, Lord willing, I plan on addressing the subject of husband hood and fatherhood on Fathers Day…..

·      My desire is to open the Word of God in order to bless you, encourage you and admonish you to do The Lord’s will, The Lord’s way, for The Lord’s glory.

 

As you make your way to Titus 2, I want to read you a Scripture from Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

·      A wise married woman is a woman who fears God, and builds her life and her house upon the wisdom of Scripture. She is a woman who is deeply devoted to The Lord Jesus Christ and realizes that marriage is a covenant where very specific and broad vows like for better or worse or in sickness and in health or for richer or poorer are made before God and her husband.

·      How does a woman/wife pluck down her house? Like Eve in the garden, she questions what God says and lives according to her “feelings” or the world system apart from God.

·      Beloved, we are living in a day and age when there are more marriages in the church are falling apart and more homes and lives are or have been destroyed because people (both male and female) love themselves more than they fear God.

 

Titus 2:1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

·      Many times I will have the question asked of me, what is a Woman’s role in the home and in the church? I would answer that the women’s role in the church largely coincides with her role in the home.

·      Keep in mind that verse 3-5 were part of the sound doctrine that Titus was to speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee (Titus 2.15).

 

3 The aged (older) women likewise, that they (1) be in behaviour as becometh holiness (sacred, holy, reverent, consecrated to God), (2) not false accusers (slanderers, gossips), (3) not given to (addicted) much wine, (4) teachers of good things (beautiful; attractive); 4 That they may teach the young women to (5) be sober, (6) to love their husbands, (7) to love their children, 5 (8) To be discreet, (9) chaste, (10) keepers at home, (11) good, (12) obedient to their own husbands,….WHY?  that the word of God be not blasphemed (dishonored, maligned).

·      According to the Holy Spirit of God, please note that it was the older women, not Pastor Titus, that were to teach the younger women these 12 things. Yes, as a pastor/teacher, it is my responsibility to pass along to you sisters these truths with all authority, but it is your responsibility to put them into practice.

·      My precious older sisters in Christ, may I encourage you to resist the fallen, fractured model of the world system and cultivate a hands on biblical model of these things in your in your home and in this church family.

·      The godly older women have the responsibility of teaching their daughters, granddaughters and younger women in the church how to be successful wives, mothers, and housekeepers; and the younger women have the responsibility of listening and obeying.

·      The topics comprising the teaching of the older women in verses 3 through 5 are very practical and focused on the domestic sphere. The focus in these verses is that older women are to pass along their biblical and practical experiences to the younger women in order that they might learn to be godly wives and mothers.

·      If the older sisters and not teaching their daughters, granddaughters or younger sisters in the church, or, if the younger women aren’t learning from the older women, the next generation won’t have any older women who have anything to teach. There will be no legacy to pass on.

·      And what is the ultimate purpose for this instruction? Once again, the ultimate purpose of being a godly wife and mother (1) that the word of God be not blasphemed (verse 5) and (2) that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you (verse 8).

·      Would you note that the primary purpose for obeying the word of God is that the Name of Jesus Christ be held in high esteem and honor.  It brings discredit and reproach to the Name of Jesus when we say that we affirm the Scripture as final authority, but live our lives as if we are the final authority and God or the Bible does not even exist.

 

Why is it urgent for older, God fearing, lovers of Christ sisters to teach younger women? Well first if all, because God says so...but here is another reason:

·      The Minneapolis Star-Tribune (October 23, p. A18) carried Mary McCarty’s review of Joan Brumberg’s recent book, The Body Project. The book is about the difference between how girls saw themselves 100 years ago and how they see themselves today. Brumberg analyzes diaries of adolescent girls from the 1830’s to the 1990’s. Her conclusion, according to the reviewer: “In the 19th and early 20th centuries, girls’ diaries focused on ‘good works’ and perfecting the character. In the 1990’s, the diaries are fixated on ‘good looks,’ on perfecting the body.”

·      For example, one diary from 1892 says, “Resolved…to think before speaking. To work seriously. To be self-restrained in conversations and actions. To be dignified. Interesting myself more in others.” Contrast this with an entry from 1982: “I will try to make myself better in any way I possibly can with the help of my budget and babysitting money. I will lose weight, get new lenses, already got new haircut, good makeup, new clothes and accessories.”

 

 

Okay, I realize that I am walking on a tight rope now, but some of you ladies may be asking yourself the question, and who is it that is an older woman? Paul (wisely!) does not specify the age a woman would have to be to qualify as older. But childbearing typically ends at about 40 years of age and, correspondingly, childrearing ends at about 60. It therefore seems reasonable to take older women as referring to women that are around the age of 60 years old.

 

These passages of Scripture, along with the many others found in the Bible reveal design for women. It is a design which will fulfill their created purpose, maximize their uniqueness, make them a blessing to the world and bring fulfillment to their own lives and glory to the name of God. And that design is briefly stated there in those verses 3-5.

 

3 The aged (older) women likewise, that they (1) be in behaviour as becometh holiness (sacred, holy, reverent, consecrated to God), (2) not false accusers (slanderers, gossips), (3) not given to (addicted) much wine, (4) teachers of good things (beautiful; attractive);

·      (1) Holiness A lifestyle that reflects holiness and reverence; devotion and consecration to God in conduct, speech and dress. “Behavior” points to their demeanor or inner character. The reverent woman fears God and lives in His presence.

·      (2) Not false accusers- to defame; to inform against; to bring charges with hostile intent. This is a single word in the Greek that is used 34 times to describe the devil! It is a word that literally means, to throw things at people. The godly woman that Paul is describing is one that refuses to listen to, much less propagate, slanderous and demeaning stories about others. The law of kindness is in their mouth.

·      (3)Not given to much wine- Not one who has a reputation for drinking; one who sits long at drink.

·      (4) Teachers of good things- The Greek word here is a word for good that means noble, excellent, lofty. And the idea in the word is not to be understood as something that takes place in a classroom, it is the idea of being a role model or a pattern of goodness. Older women, particularly when their children are grown and gone and they reach the senior years are not supposed to just wander away from the church and travel around as if they had no responsibility. In their older years they are responsible to become teachers of the next generation.

 

4 That they may teach the young women to (5) be sober, (6) to love their husbands, (7) to love their children,

·      (5) Sober- The sober minded individual is in command of their mind. It means to be serious. They have control over the things they think and thus, they have control over the things that they do. They do not allow circumstances or the immorality or foolishness of others to distract them. They not only do not become involved in things that are outright immoral and unspiritual but also avoid things that are trivial, foolish, and unproductive. The older woman's counsel enables the young woman to be occupied with Christ, to see life "with eternity's values in view", to make decisions from the wisdom of God's viewpoint.

·      (6) Teach them to be lovers of their own husband, not someone else’s husband! And the kind of  love that is spoken of here is not necessarily the love of emotion, it's the love of will and a deep commitment. The word love in our society is used almost universally to describe the erotic or sexual aspect. Sexual “love” and out side of the covenant and bonds of marriage is either fornication or adultery and has nothing to do with real, biblical love at all. This means that mothers and grandmothers are going to be teaching their daughters, granddaughters and unmarried women at church to keep themselves sexually pure and reserve their bodies for their husbands in the covenant of marriage.  Marital love needs to be taught because contrary to television, real marriage in the real world is not all about bells and whistles beloved, it is about covenant, commitment and faithfulness to one another in the sight of God. Note in the passage that loving a husband in a God honoring, Christ glorifying way is something that is an ongoing lesson that is to be taught.

·      (7) Children lovers. Women, this is your highest calling, to raise godly children for the glory of God. Any woman can have children, but the goal of the Christian woman is to raise children to love The Lord, serve The Lord, and do whatever they do for His glory and honor.

o   2 Tim 3.15 from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

o   2 Tim 1.5 the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice.

 

5 (8) To be discreet, (9) chaste, (10) keepers at home, (11) good, (12) obedient to their own husbands,….WHY?  that the word of God be not blasphemed (dishonored, maligned).

·      (8) Discreet- to have sound judgment, common sense, right thinking, right priorities. Common sense stuff of life. Ladies, if you are not thinking rightly (biblically), then you will not behave properly. This Greek word can be also translated self-controlled. This means that you need to be teaching your daughters by example and precept the importance of self control.  If parents do not discipline themselves, they can never effectively teach discipline their children.

·      (9) Chaste- this speaks of being morally and virtuous in mind and heart as well as in action. This is not the message that is being pounded into the hearts and minds of our precious daughters and granddaughters by society. Anything BUT purity and virtue.

o   1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

§  Precious sisters, are you more concerned with man’s approval or God’s? When you look for your acceptance first with God, that is what frees you from being in bondage to society or the person in the mirror.

§  The biblical goal of a woman’s life is not to find the ultimate expression of the self (neither “body”nor “character”). The biblical goal in life is to express the all-satisfying greatness and trustworthiness of God. Expressing God, not self, is what a godly woman wants to do. Excessive preoccupation with figure and hair and complexion is a sign that self, not God, has moved to the center. With God at the centerlike the “sun,” satisfying a woman’s longings for beauty and greatness and truth and loveall the “planets” of food and dress and exercise and cosmetics and posture and countenance will stay in their proper orbit.

·       (10) Keepers at home- It simply means that the sphere of a woman's life is her home, that's her domain. Even a cursory look at Proverbs 31:16,18 & 24 indicates that to be a keeper at home does not prohibit working outside the home, but it does indicate that design of God for the wife/mother is that her marriage, family and home are to be the top priority in her life….not her career. With the advent of modern technology, a non-homeschooling mother with children at school may have more time and there may be things outside the home she can do that may even be enterprising like the Proverbs 31 woman and bring in a little bit of income. But any of those kind of things that you do, the home remains the constant and ongoing priority. Everything focuses on that. That is the idea of this word…..when there is a decision that needs to be made between the home and other things…the home and family win out. Sisters, the first time there's indication that any employment or social environment is compromising your commitment to Christ, compromising your commitment to your husband, compromising your commitment to your home, you need to change that or your marriage is in danger of becoming another statistic on the wrong side of the ledger.

·      (11) Good- Moms, it is your responsibility to teach your daughters and granddaughters to be good. In our culture, what is being said to young women about being good is the very opposite of what young women are being taught. Young women today are being taught to love whoever they want, farm their children out to somebody else, don't worry about being sensible, do whatever pleases you. Don't worry about being good or pure, fulfill your physical and lustful desires. And now we have women in the church at an epidemic rate teaching their daughters and granddaughters by their choices, that if your marriage is not all that you want it to be, bail out, tap out, walk out.

·      (12) Obedient to their own husbands- This is no laughing matter beloved. In the creation account of Genesis 1, God’s first word on the subject of men and women is that they were equally created in the image of God (v. 27). Neither received more of the image of God than the other. So the Bible begins with the equality of the sexes. As persons, as spiritual beings standing before God, men and women are absolutely equal. In Genesis 2 however, there is a more detailed account of the creation of the two equal human beings that reveals differences in their God-given functions and responsibilities. Obedient to their own husbands is another way of expressing the wife’s duty of submission in the marriage relationship (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18). Ladies, the husband is the head of the house, not you.

 

And note why God instructs Christian women to live this way? That the word of God be not blasphemed!

·      In other words, the very character and testimony of Christ in the world to some extent hinges upon the behavior of His children.

 

Closing comments

·      I know there are a myriad of things that may flood your mind, exceptions here and there and everywhere and what a bout a woman who is single working in the world and what about a woman who has no children working, and again I just remind you, those things you need to pray about and decide in your own family and then follow the leading of the Lord

·      There are some precious and dear women that God wants to be single and they're the exception. He doesn't call them to be married. They have what the New Testament calls a gift of singleness. First Corinthians 7 says that women who are single should remain single, if they can do that. Some women are designed by God to be single for the Kingdom's sake.

·      There are some women who are barren for the Kingdom's sake, for God's divine purposes. There are some men who cannot produce children and therefore their wives will never bear children. In the early days of the church, barren women would oftentimes take their barrenness as an opportunity to adopt a child. God has designed some women to have the uniqueness of singleness and others not to have children for His own purpose. Both are precious in His sight!

·      The fulfilled woman, old or young, married or single, with or without children is the woman that loves Jesus Christ, serves Him and submits to His role for her in the home and in the church. The fulfilled woman is not the woman who is married to the perfect husband (their aren’t any out there, I know!!!!) The fulfilled woman is the woman who finds her ultimate joy, peace, satisfaction and love in Jesus. Her expectations are from Him (Psalm 62.5), not her husband. Remember, it is Jesus, Who said that He came to give us life and that more abundantly!

·      Precious sisters, do not fall for the lies of the world. Nobody can love you like Jesus Christ. Whatever your marital state is, trust Him, love Him, serve Him and bring Him glory.